By Jay Miller
LOS ANGELES, CA. -- A local improv troupe was torn apart when its six members all insisted on different but equally stupid team names to use for their first performance, sources say.
“I thought Shia LaBuff was a shoe-in,” said J.D. Starks, five-year performer in the Los Angeles improv scene. “I even photoshopped Shia LaBeouf as a buff guy. Just absolutely shredded, bulging muscles and all. I guess I was before my time; I’ll just hang on to that graphic until the time is right.”
Starks, a L.A. native, assembled the unnamed group with five other performers he met at various local improv auditions where they were all passed over in favor of more gifted yes, and-ers.
“Mine was Johnny Cochran Blocker,” said Amy Lundt, a local improviser specializing in the Harold format. “But no one else really got on board. Really? Are you telling me Lemonade Starship, Krispy Kramer and Dr. Peter Pepper are better than Johnny Cochran Blocker? As if.”
When we explained that none of the names really connected with us or made us want to see the show, a frustrated Lundt rolled her eyes and “wiped” the scene by standing from her seat and half-jogging out of the room.
“Our team name should’ve been the entirety of the lyrics to Bohemian Rhapsody,” said Tucker Brown, a recent Improv 101 graduate. “It would have been so funny for our name to have been just, you know, the whole song, but spoken without any music or anything.”
When asked where their name ideas came from, each of the six performers chuckled to themselves and muttered something about their idea being an inside joke from a scene they did a while back that was ‘hard to explain if you weren’t there.’